In other words: A discussion of The Bush Administration
The Top Ten Conservative Idiots, No. 123
On a roll this week:
2. George W. Bush
Thank goodness Our Great Leader is in charge of our national security and bringing world peace. He's doing such a great job so far. You only have to look at last week's bombing of the UN building in Iraq (which killed 23 people including the UN's top envoy in Iraq, Sergio Vieira de Mello) to see what kind of progress we're making. With surprising speed, the Pentagon rushed out the explanation that al Qaeda were responsible for the bombing (see - we told you that al Qaeda was in Iraq!!) - although recent news reports suggest that in fact the bombing could have been an inside job pulled off by members of Saddam's former security service. Meanwhile, on the same day as the UN blast in Iraq a suicide bomber killed 18 people in Israel, whisking Bush's largely symbolic road map out the window and blowing it onto the shoulder. And where was Bush while all this was going on? Well, during the recent blackout of the northeast Our Great Leader had to tear himself away from a fundraiser to address the nation. This week he was unfortunately in the middle of a round of golf, which he had to abandon to take a phone call from Kofi Annan. Incidentally, Mr. Annan immediately cut short his vacation to deal with the crisis. But nothing was going to come between George W. Bush and his vacation, which resumed shortly after the phone call. Ah, George must have thought after hanging up and sinking into his easy chair, mission accomplished.
3. Bill Janklow
Bill Janklow is the only congressman from (and former governor of) South Dakota, and is what we like to think of as a "typical Republican" - a conservative who tells people to do what he says, not what he does. For example, speaking in favor of mandatory drug sentencing in his 1999 State of the State address, he offered this analogy: "Bill Janklow speeds when he drives - shouldn't but he does. When he gets the ticket, he pays for it, but if someone told me I was going to jail for two days for speeding, my driving habits would change." Perhaps somebody should have told Bill Janklow that he was going to jail for two days instead of simply fining him for 12 speeding tickets in 11 counties between 1990 and 1994. Because if his driving habits had changed, he might not have been doing 75mph in a 55mph zone before he blew through a stop sign, hitting and killing a motorcyclist last week. Sadly it's a bit late now. But perhaps the possibility of a second-degree manslaughter charge will change Bill's driving habits. After all, it's hard to speed when you're behind bars.
4. Fox News
"There are hard cases and there are easy cases," said the judge in the Fox News Fair and Balanced case against Al Franken. "This is an easy case. This case is wholly without merit, both factually and legally." This appears to be the end for one of the most ridiculous lawsuits in recent memory. (Why in the heck would a news organization be trying to chip away at the first amendment? You decide.) Interestingly, we hear that Fox News have recently been running ads on their network for Hannity & Colmes, featuring Dennis Miller. The ads reportedly contain the line, "It's Miller Time." So what's going on here? Was Fox News's lawsuit really a principled defense of the trademark holder's sacred rights? Or are they just a hypocritical right-wing propaganda outlet that's full of shit? We report, you... oh, never mind.
- rob 3:37 PM - [PermaLink] -
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