In other words: A discussion of The Bush Administration
The Top Ten Conservative Idiots, No. 131
2. The Pentagon
Last week Our Great Leader kept up his push to explain to America that everything is going just fine in Iraq, while U.S. soldiers continue to die on an almost daily basis. But Bush's optimistic proclamations of great success were given a healthy boost by Republican lawmakers who were recently taken on carefully-planned guided tours of Baghdad and returned from Iraq bearing - surprise - good news. Take Rep. George Nethercutt, for example, who said, "The story of what we've done in the postwar period is remarkable. It is a better and more important story than losing a couple of soldiers every day." Well I guess that depends on whether you're related to one of those soldiers or not. But if you think you might not be getting the whole picture here - you're right. Last week Senator Chris Dodd and other top Democrats were denied entry to Iraq by the Pentagon. Why? Because according to the Pentagon, "no planes were available to ferry the group from Jordan to Iraq." Yeah, right. So the next time you see George W. Bush complaining about how the news coming out of Iraq isn't fair and balanced you'll know that he's right - only Republicans are allowed to see what's going on over there.
3. Leaders of The War On Terror
Last week the International Institute for Strategic Studies released a report called "The Military Balance" which, according to the UK Guardian, says that "War in Iraq has swollen the ranks of al-Qaida and 'galvanised its will' by increasing radical passions among Muslims." Are you shocked? Perhaps if you'd been given the same information as the prime movers behind the war in Iraq, you wouldn't be. The Guardian article goes on to note that "The parliamentary intelligence and security committee reported last month that Tony Blair was warned by his intelligence chiefs on the eve of war that an invasion of Iraq would increase the danger of terrorist attacks." Funny... I thought that the whole point of the war was to reduce the danger of terrorist attacks. Or was it to find weapons of mass destruction? Or free the Iraqi people? It all seems so fuzzy these days.
4. George W. Bush
Looks like Our Great Leader is really getting a handle on this White House leak thing. Two weeks ago he simultaneously promised to catch the senior administration official who revealed Valerie Plame's identity as a CIA agent, and said that he had "no idea" if the person would be caught (see Idiots 130), which is pretty impressive. But last week he really put his foot down, telling top officials to "stop the leaks" - or else. The Philadelphia Inquirer reported that Bush "'didn't want to see any stories' quoting unnamed administration officials in the media anymore, and that if he did, there would be consequences." And how do we know all this? Because it was told to the Inquirer by "a senior administration official who asked that his name not be used." Good job, George. You'll have those pesky leaks under control before you can say "The Floccinaucinihilipilification Administration."
...
9. Clear Channel DJs
With the war on terror all but over - if you discount the fact that our soldiers are dying every day in Iraq, al Qaeda's membership is on the rise, and we can't find Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, or any weapons of mass destruction - Clear Channel DJs are looking for another group of evildoers to spew venom at. And they seem to have found a worthy target - cyclists! It appears that at least three Clear Channel stations - in Cleveland, Houston, and Raleigh, NC - have been instructing their listeners to run cyclists off the road or pelt them with bottles. And not only that, but they've been instructing them in the best way to do it; even getting advice from callers. Surprise - cyclists are pissed. Email campaigns and boycotts have forced at least one station to issue a formal apology, but the fact that this anti-cyclist campaign seems to be spreading across the Clear Channel airwaves concerns some people. "When you incite people to violence, you've crossed the line," said Houston cyclist Frank Karbarz, who helped organize against the station. "They did it almost like a tutorial. It wasn't humorous. It was how to hurt someone." Of course, I don't imagine that this has anything to do with the fact that most Clear Channel listeners associate cycling with liberalism - get off the road, you stupid environmentalist hippie! - and I'm sure that this isn't just an underhanded way of suggesting that red-blooded, pickup driving American patriots should get out there and start running down the scum-sucking liberal treehuggers - but I'm certainly interested to see where they go with this next...
- rob 1:14 PM - [PermaLink] -
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