In other words: A discussion of The Bush Administration
Yes, I know, its been up since Monday
The Top Ten Conservative Idiots, No. 152
5. John Ashcroft
The Crisco Kid himself appeared before the 9/11 Commission last week to explain why everything that the Bush administration did leading up to September 11 was in fact the fault of the Clinton administration. According to Ashcroft's version of the story, he "moved quickly" to focus the nation on fighting terrorism as soon as he got into office, which I guess would explain why former interim FBI director Thomas J. Pickard testified before the Commission that Ashcroft specifically asked not to be briefed about terrorism. I guess it would also explain why Ashcroft testified that "We did not know an attack was coming, because for nearly a decade our government had blinded itself to its enemies," despite the fact that Condoleezza Rice already testified that the Clinton plan was a good one, which is why she chose to keep it in place and retain Richard Clarke. And I guess that it would also explain why, according to the UK Guardian, on September 10, 2001 Ashcroft "sent a request for budget increases to the White House. It covered 68 programs, none of them related to counter-terrorism." Oh, and he "also sent a memorandum to his heads of departments, stating his seven priorities. Counter-terrorism was not on the list." Oh yeah, and let's not forget that he "turned down an FBI request for hundreds more agents to be assigned to tracking terrorist threats." Damn you, Bill Clinton and your terrorist-loving penis! Look what you made John Ashcroft do!
...
10. The U.S. Forest Service
And finally, the U.S. Forest Service recently put out a brochure which insists that more logging is imperative to prevent wildfires in the Sierra Nevada. Want proof? The brochure contains six photos which demonstrate how the "forests of the past" were in fact much sparser than the forests of today. The photos - taken in 1909, 1948, 1958, 1968, 1979 and 1989 - show an open area of forest which, in each picture, becomes filled with more and more trees and underbrush. The pamphlet says, "Today's forests, dense with green, may seem beautiful, but in fact are deadly... Our old-growth forests are choking with brush, tinder-dry debris and dead trees which make the risk of catastrophic fire high." There's just one tiny problem - it was recently revealed that the 1909 photo used in the brochure was taken after the area had been logged, so that would explain the large, open area with hardly any trees or underbrush. Oh yes, and there's one other minor detail they left out of the brochure - the 1909 photo was taken in Montana, which is nowhere near the Sierra Nevada. In fact, the photo originally appeared in a 1983 Forest Service research report and was captioned "cleanup operations on the Lick Creek timber sale." A Forest Service spokesperson said "Our goal here was to... increase the clarity and understandability of our message. We needed to be accurate but not necessarily precise to the 99th degree." Well all I can say is thank goodness the Bush administration has made blatant manipulation and outright distortion acceptable in today's society, or someone would probably get into trouble for this. See you next week!
- rob 12:34 PM - [PermaLink] -
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